Trump’s Web Team Displays Incompetence On Day One

If you’ve gone to the White House website recently in search of topics like Native American History or LGBT rights, you’ve probably encountered what millions of Americans have: the pages are gone. While this would seemingly be a cause for panic, there might be a logical explanation.

When a new president takes office, their new administration will revamp, rebrand, rename things for a while until websites, oval offices, Air Force One’s, and the like, are specifically tailored and designed to meet the new president’s taste. This is normal. Replacing key pages that contain policies for working LGBT Americans and Native Americans with no replacement pages, however, is disturbing and displays a level of incompetence or, God forbid, malice.

As a web developer, I can tell you that this is not the way new websites are rolled out. Here is a crash course on how competent web companies do it.

Team With Any Kind of Experience Hovering Around A Middle School Education

Step 1: Assign a team, identify stakeholders, create the documents needed to track the progress of the site.

Step 2: From the specs created by the stakeholders, the team starts work on the site.

Step 3: Once a site is near anything close to a working prototype, it is moved from the development servers to the test servers.

Step 4: Testing begins and changes are made according to blackbox/whitebox testing results.

Step 5: Once everything is approved, the site is pushed to the live server, replacing the content.

This is a CRUDE outline of what happens, not taking into account any agile, waterfall, RAD development techniques. Nerds, don’t crucify me here.

Trump’s Team

Step 1: The second Trump is sworn in as president, start removing pages of the people you targeted, pissed off, annoyed, during your year-long temper tantrum. If you aren’t sure they meet the criteria, just make sure they are a minority group. That meets the criteria.

Step 2: Don’t replace the pages with anything, not even a landing page that indicates the pages are under construction.

Step 3: Break open your HTML manual from 1995 and train staff on how to create banners, flashing or scrolling text, links, and buttons. Investigate this new thing called Javascript.

Step 4: Once staff is trained, assign whomever was able to figure out frames to head your State Department.

Step 5: Convert new site to Flash using the previous four methods.

We’ve made a ton of progress with equal rights and technology over the past eight years. But the thought of being denied basic human rights, having them redefined in a more Christian-Dominionist way, or having Trump sworn in for a second term using fifteen Bibles and an Official Netscape Navigator 2.0 book, scares the shit out of this girl.

I’ll die before I let go of my Internet Explorer 6.0 manual!!!

Viva la 1600s!